Filthy Little Pretties Read online

  Pushing my door open, I jog around the front of the car, hearing Donovan call out my name. Ignoring her, I duck inside of a McDonald’s, only to reappear with a bag of burgers, fries, and a couple of Cokes.

  Her face brightens as I take a sip of my drink and come around to the driver’s side. She leans across and pushes my door open.

  “You’re a prince among men, Grey McCallister.”

  “Only for you, Cherry.”

  I shimmy my leg in and lower down into my seat, handing her the bag, so I can close the car door.

  “This could be our last meal. Might as well make it a good one. And granola doesn’t count as food.”

  The bag crinkles as she pulls out a burger for me and then one for herself.

  “What would you have for your last meal? For real…the world is ending, you get one last taste. What do you choose?”

  I smile big, as I take a gargantuan bite of my burger, answering, “You.”

  Coughing erupts as her eyes widen.

  “Oh my God, you’re impossible.” She grabs a napkin and wipes her lips. “When will you ever take the hint?”

  I take the napkin from her hand and dab it on a spot she missed at the bottom of her chin. Her tongue sweeps across that damn bottom lip, pulling it between her teeth.

  “When you start sending one. Watch that tongue, Cherry. It says a lot without speaking.”

  “Change the subject or I’m walking home.”

  Liar.

  “Cool your jets. Okay… Tell me something, anything you did in the last five years.”

  “God, it would be easier to do that in reverse. I lived too big, too loud, too much, Grey. Which is why I’d prefer to stay single and under the radar now. It’s the straight and narrow for me.”

  “What does that mean?”

  She shrugs and smiles coyly, taking another swig of her Coke.

  “You aren’t going to tell me, are you?”

  “Probably not.”

  I take the final bite of my food and stretch my arm out across the back of the seat, thinking of what to ask her.

  “Then tell me about something you miss.”

  Donovan’s entire face lights up. She licks some ketchup off her finger, and my eyes fix to the pad of it, wanting to taste it too, but her words call my attention.

  “Oh, that’s easy. The water. I loved living on the sea. Don’t get me wrong, New York is incredible, but there’s something spiritual about being by the water.”

  “Would you go back?”

  She shakes her head, brushing her hands together after taking her last bite.

  “No. Especially now. Being back with you and Liam, it’s been just what I needed.”

  I like hearing that. I want her to need me. She sweeps her lap and grins at me. “Okay, your turn. Tell me something unexpected that you’ve done in the last five years.”

  I open my mouth to answer when The Cure fills my car. Donovan holds up a finger and digs inside that monster bag of hers, retrieving her cell and, apparently, a frown because her whole face is turned down as she stares at the screen.

  “Are you going to answer it?”

  She looks to me, her eyes unsure, but she hits the Accept button and puts the phone to her ear.

  “Father.”

  My eyes are fixed on her, even though she turns her shoulders slightly, trying for privacy.

  “Yes, I’m aware. I’m with friends, Grey and Liam.”

  Whatever he’s saying to her has her entire body tensed.

  “I understand. Trust me, your disappointment rings loud and clear.”

  Disappointment? What the hell could he be disappointed by? She’s incredible. Her fingers make way to her wrist and fidget with her bracelets. It’s something she does when she’s nervous and uneasy. I don’t even have to hear what her father is saying to know that I don’t like it.

  “Yep. Got it. I’ll try really hard not to come home knocked up by a local or embroiled in national scandal… No promises, though, if one of those British princes shows up.”

  My lips tip up at her sarcasm. That’s my girl. Never let them get the best of you.

  Donovan pulls the phone from her ear, the screen already dark. He must have hung up. She smiles at me to hide her embarrassment, but I see it.

  “Hey, don’t do that.”

  Her head turns toward her door, but I reach out and grab her chin, forcing her back to face me. “You don’t ever have to do that with me. Not with me, Donovan.”

  “I can’t seem to stop making him ashamed that I’m his daughter. Like it’s my function in life.”

  “Whatever he’s said is bullshit. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past. I see you, I always have, and you’re stunning, inside and out.”

  “What if I’m not that same girl anymore?”

  Her whisper sounds of quiet regret as her head relaxes heavily into my hand, dropping forward until her forehead leans against my shoulder. My palm runs down her hair as I drop a kiss to the top of her head.

  “I prefer the one sitting in my car—hotter body and she has bite. There’s nothing that you could tell me that would change my mind.”

  “Don’t be so sure.”

  “Do you want to test that theory?”

  She shakes her head against my shoulder, and I want to push her for information, but whatever Donovan survived in Spain was enough to turn her against herself. That’s not something I’d thought possible for her future.

  “All right then, do you want me to try for a hostile takeover and ruin his business? McCallister Inc. is all mine as soon as I turn eighteen, after all.”

  Her head pops up, shocked. “It is? You could do that?”

  I chuckle as she sinks back into her seat. “Probably not, but I could try.”

  Her laugh fills the sky, and just like that, I begin falling for the girl.

  “Okay. Drama’s over.” She breathes out in a whoosh, brushing her hair back. “Now answer my question.”

  “What question?”

  Donovan looks at me dumbfounded, as if me forgetting is a crime.

  “What’s something unexpected you’ve done during my lengthy absence?”

  “Oh yeah.” I smirk, and she pokes my shoulder. My hands tighten on the steering wheel, the leather quietly squeaking as I push, extending my arms straight. “Qualified for the Olympic rowing team.”

  I let my arms buckle as I look at her stunned face.

  “What! Grey, that’s amazing.”

  Her hands find my shoulder, and she gives a tiny squeeze, as I lean in sideways closer to her. “Nobody knows. That’s our little secret.”

  She pushes against me, mouth gaping. “Why aren’t you yelling it to the rooftops? It’s an amazing fucking accomplishment.”

  My hand wipes across my mouth before I give a light punch to the center of the steering wheel.

  “Because it’s not in the cards for me. I can’t walk away and know that everything my family built would remain intact. My life is my legacy. If I leave, it would all crumble…I won’t do that in her name.”

  Donovan’s eyes soften. She knows I’m talking about my mother. Her hand comes to cradle my cheek as she levels me, pulling her sunglasses down and locking eyes on me.

  “Sweet boy, since when does anyone choose for you? Find a way to do both. If anyone can, it’s you, no matter what anyone else says. My Grey does as he pleases without apology. It’s what makes him king of the Upper East Side.”

  “Is that so?” I answer, turning my head to kiss the inside of her palm.

  “Absolutely.”

  She keeps her smile as she turns to rummage through her bag again.

  “Am I that, Donovan?”

  “That what?” she answers absentmindedly, pulling out her lip gloss and opening the tin, the scent of cherry unleashed.

  “Your Grey.”

  Her head snaps to mine, and without hesitation, she answers.

  “Absolutely.”

  “And Liam?”

  S
he pulls down the mirror and rubs her finger in the shiny goop before bringing it to her full lips, rubbing them together.

  “He’s my Liam,” she finally answers, grabbing a McDonald’s napkin to wipe her finger. “I’ll never choose a favorite. You should know that by now.”

  Brake lights begin to flicker, and the sound of people crawling back inside their cars surrounds us. I release the brake and twist the key, the purr of the engine sounding. Donovan smiles at me as I shift into first and look at her.

  “Times have changed, Cherry. I’m gonna make you want to pick.”

  “Never. Gonna. Happen,” she mouths, relaxing back into her seat.

  Donovan

  I WATCHED THE SUN SET behind the trees, leaving a chill in the air. Grey pulled over an hour ago and put the top up, giving me his school sweater out of the trunk before getting back on the road. It’s moments like this, when I see the thoughtful boy inside the man, that terrify me.

  It’s one thing to be attracted to someone and quite another to like them. Those ideas can most certainly be mutually exclusive, but it’s when they cross paths that hearts can be broken, and bad ideas can fester. Grey and I are best friends, so it goes without saying that I like him. But I also worry that I’m beginning to like him, too.

  “Jesus, it’s so dark out here.”

  “That’s the country for you.” He smiles, glancing at me as I roll the sleeves on his sweatshirt up.

  “The roads are empty. It’s creepy.”

  The car begins to slow as he pulls to the side of the road, causing me to look around nervously. “What are you doing? Is something wrong?”

  “No, Little Miss Paranoid. Do you want to see how fast this baby goes?”

  A smile breaks out on my face, and I almost bounce in my seat. Hell yes, I want to find out.

  “Umm, yes.”

  He wags his eyebrows and hits the button for the top. But I wince. “Wait, maybe we shouldn’t. I don’t want to get you in trouble. What if the police catch us? My father literally just told me not to end up in one of his papers.”

  He laughs and shakes his head.

  “Is this you on the straight and narrow? What do you think, there are photographers hidden in the trees? Don’t worry, I do what I want, remember…without apology. I thought I was the king of the Upper East Side.”

  “This isn’t the city, jerk.”

  “Relax. You can have a little fun without the roof coming down. I promise not to tell.”

  My eyes search his, debating the word fun. It’s been dirty to me for so long. Fun was pills, alcohol, sex, and parties. Fun was self-destruction and the pain of knowing I failed each time I tried. But I’m not trying to implode anymore. Fun gets to be what it is…fun.

  “Fine, but if we get caught, I’m telling the cops you kidnapped me.”

  “Fair enough.” He grins before revving the engine.

  I bounce up and down, gripping the dash, but it’s of no use once he guns the car, peeling out so fast that my body is thrust back onto the fine leather seat.

  “Holy shit, Grey!”

  But I don’t hear him answer; instead, I feel the kick of the engine as he shifts. My body bobs forward and whips backward again, but this time I grab the top of the windshield on the convertible, holding strong. My eyes grow wide as we speed down the long stretch of empty highway.

  It’s exhilarating, the speed, the fear. All of it. It’s as if I’ve never lived until this very moment, and I want more. Feeling brave, I unsnap my seat belt. Grey glances at me quickly and back to the road as I stand, angled forward, pressing my stomach against the windshield. My arms stretch, struggling against the pressure, fighting the wind, but I force them to open wide.

  I don’t know what I’m doing, but it feels good. Really fucking good. Like I’m blocking out all of the bullshit in my head and living for this moment. I tip my chin up, and the world rushes at me, making me feel everything all at once. All the shame and regret, all the pain and hate. Everything I’ve been holding inside of me. It all vibrates as the wind hits my cheeks, faster and faster, until the lights from faraway houses create streaks against the shadows of the dark trees. The sound of wind scorches my ears like white noise as my heart begins beating out of my chest.

  My senses are overwhelmed.

  Suddenly, I feel scared, exposed, as if I might unravel and be sucked into the night sky. My hands shoot to the windshield, and I yell down, “Grey. Slow down. It’s too fast.”

  It all feels too fast, too much. I want it to stop. I need it to stop.

  “Grey!” I scream, looking down at his profile, but he doesn’t slow.

  “Be someone Death fears, Donovan. Let go!”

  His voice thunders, pushing through the wind and grabbing a hold of me. My eyes are lost in the darkness, too afraid to take the risk. Afraid to let go and feel it all. His fingers grip my hip, but not in a protective way. More like a slap to the face.

  It’s a challenge. Grey won’t let me back down. Not now, not ever. Especially to myself. This is who he’s always been for me. A mirror. My face shoots to his, unsure and scared. But Grey looks taunting as his gaze shoots back and forth between me and the road, waiting for me to act.

  I can feel the urgency in his body, willing me to accept. I can hear him in my head. “Feel it, Donovan. Let it all go.”

  Grey’s someone who even Death would fear. And for tonight, I want that kind of freedom. That power. I want to let go and live. I nod my agreement slowly, unable to speak the words. He takes his hand off my hip and places it over mine, smiling big. Pulling it from the windshield, he extends my arm back out. His face is lit up with pride as I let go of my other hand, opening my arms again. A smile is plastered on my face, while my chest rises and falls from the adrenaline.

  But this time, I don’t let it best me. Instead, I let it run through my veins, tipping my head back and howling at the moon.

  The horn sounds, joining my irreverence, as we speed down the road until his car begins to slow. My hair whips around my face, and goose bumps run up my arms. Tingles from leftover excitement accompany them, making their way down my spine as I slide back down into my seat and look at Grey’s face.

  “Wow. That was…”

  Everything I needed.

  He stops in the middle of the road, reaching for my face, his thumb wiping the wetness from my cheeks.

  “Are you crying?”

  Yes. But for once, it’s because I’m happy.

  “No,” I lie. “My eyes are watering from the wind.”

  He looks at me like he knows better but brings his thumb to his lips, licking off my tears, before pressing the gas and turning into the gravel driveway of Liam’s family’s lake house. A house I know very well, since the three of us spent a lot of our summers here. My eyes close to steady myself as the car slows to a stop. I can feel Grey turn to look at me, but when I open my eyes, he seems agitated or angry. I can’t tell which.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He grabs the sides of my face roughly and pulls me close to him, so our foreheads touch, as his breath comes out harshly.

  “The only reason I’m not kissing you right now is because if I do—” His breath is ragged as he waits, before speaking again. “Promise me when it’s time to tell all your secrets that I’m the first person you tell. I want to carry them with you, protect you from them, destroy anyone who knows them.”

  “Grey.” Holy shit.

  “It’s what best friends do.”

  My hands close over his, and I want to say, “That’s the first lie you’ve ever told me.” Because I felt it too. I feel it too—the connection and draw to one another. He means what he says as more than friends.

  Our names are called from the front door, and the moment is broken. I push his hands away and stare at him, trying to figure out what to say. But there’s nothing to say. The longer the silence stretches, the more he reels himself in, line by line, until he’s closed off and protected.

  We get out of the car s
ilently and make our way inside, without touching, glancing at each other over and over. It’s the first time Grey hasn’t put his arm around me or held my hand. But after what he said, I feel him all over me. It’s overwhelming, almost too much to handle.

  I make my way through the house, memories everywhere, like snapshots plastered on the wallpaper. Passing through the great room with the oversized fireplace, I see Caroline with Kai, who gives me a wink, and Laura talking to Ethan. Two guys I don’t know, probably rowers, are sitting on the couch debating the best way to play beer pong with girls on their laps. One of them calls out to Grey, and my head turns to find him.

  He walks into the kitchen, grabbing two red Solo cups. His eyes are still on me as I bite my lip and walk out the french doors that open to the porch. There are five or six people who I don’t recognize, but they seem to know me, telling by the polite smiles. One of the girls lifts her cup as a hello, and I vaguely remember her from my political science class. Mila, I think.

  Liam comes bounding up the grass from the lake, and I walk to meet him. He’s a welcome escape. The smile on his face immediately rids me of any worry as he picks me up with a bear hug and smacks a big kiss on my cheek. “I thought you’d never get here.”

  “We hit crazy traffic, so I’m happy to finally be here. I swear the house hasn’t changed.”

  He places me back on the ground and takes my hand, laughing, “It’s crazy,” as he tugs me back toward the house. “Let’s get you a drink.”

  “Already taken care of,” Grey calls out, walking toward us and extending a cup my way.

  I take a careful sip, realizing it’s Sprite, and smile at him.

  “Straight and narrow.” He winks.

  Liam steals the cup from me and takes a large gulp, then pulls it away from his lips to look at it before throwing the rest on the grass. “That won’t do.”

  “Liam,” I laugh. “That was my drink.”

  He brings his face closer to mine and growls, making me giggle and back up, as he stalks toward me. I hold out my hands, “You better stop it. You’re drunk and can’t be trusted. Grey—a little help?”

  But Grey doesn’t move a muscle as he swigs his own drink. Bastard. He’s enjoying this. Liam puts his arms behind his back and chuckles.